WHY!!!!??????

Hello everyone! First the storm passed with no damage, thank God. It was crazy, the wind here was fierce.

Second, I have dealt with a couple of personal things this week and my heart keeps getting broken and all I hear is your not wanted, no one wants you, may as well drink and eat it away. I feel the spirit of rejection on my back and it is about as bad as the storm we just had. The wind, rain, thunder and lightening I feel over me and pounding on me. My heart is broken and I want to scream, hide and rebel.
My uncle passed away November 1,2014. Now my family informed me of his death on my facebook wall four days after he passed. Then had the nerve to only text me seven days after he passed to tell me because I did not respond. I still did not respond, then they call me to see if I can have him buried at my grandmamma's feet after he has been cremated. My grandmamma's plot is in my mommas name which is also deceased, so me being the living heir I have to give the say so. Now apparently I was not important enough for you to tell me that he passed  but only when you need something. GRRRRRR! I did do it only for the love and respect for one aunt that had no way of telling me anything. Then I get on facebook today to see how one of my husbands niece thinks. It is stupid but my mind takes things to a whole different level. I have always been close to that family. When I did not feel close to my own biological family I felt that they were my family, until up to 2 years ago or so. My husband has seen first hand how I battled with this rejection and heart break. He feels bad because of how his family act, but it is what it is.

I have this thing about family. Always have and probably always will. Family are the ones that can make you feel the worse.

So as I turn this page from this week and day, I will remember that God does love me and I pray that anything that I may have said, done, thought, heard, or seen made Him turn from me. Although scripture says nothing can separate me from the love of Christ.

 

I am also reminded that I am a overcomer and if God is for me who can be against me. Also I am a heir of the throne, I am a High Priest and King. I have the power and authority of the enemy. Satan has played with my emotions because I am weak, he has dropped words of discouragement and pain and I have dwelled on them. I am to hold every thought captive and remember I have on the garment of praise and the armor of God on. No weapon that is formed against me will prosper. Stand firm in the faith I know and His word that He has spoken over me. I am His child and He loves me unconditionally. He has nothing but the best planned for me and no one or nothing can take me out of His hand. Psalms 139 says He thinks about me in one day than there are grains of sand. He has formed and made me. Not my family, mistakes or traumas. Thank You Jesus for setting me free and holding my heart in Your hand. You are my Abba Father and I look to You for my relationship. I love You and praise you with my brokenness. From the ashes I rise!